A New Framework for Re-Engagement After Frustration Shutdown
By Ashley Gunn, MS, LPC; Keyframe Therapy
February 2025
For much of my life, I’ve struggled with a particular kind of frustration that doesn’t just feel difficult—it feels unbearable. Certain moments of struggle can send me into a complete system collapse, a response that didn’t seem to fit traditional models of emotional regulation (which I know, because my search history has “how to stop getting so #$%@*!) frustrated all the time” … more than once). As a therapist, I noticed this same pattern in many of my neurodivergent and trauma-impacted clients: a form of frustration that doesn’t just create discomfort—it triggers a full shutdown response.
I started calling this experience Frustration Sensitive Dysphoria (FSD)—inspired by my understanding of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), by Dr. William Dodson. Where RSD describes an acute nervous system response to perceived rejection related to relationships, FSD describes an acute nervous system response to perceived failure related to functionality. Both experiences are deeply distressing, often disproportionate to the triggering event, and can lead to withdrawal, emotional overwhelm, or shutdown.
In working with FSD—both in myself and with clients—I found that traditional problem-solving approaches actually made things worse, often instigating an immobilizing shame spiral. The moment someone hit a frustration threshold, any attempt to “fix” or “break-down” the problem only intensified the shutdown, most so for those with ADHD. What was missing wasn’t a problem-solving strategy—it was a way to make re-engagement feel possible and safe at a 1% level.
“What Would Make It Safe Enough?” (WWMISE?)
Rather than focusing on breaking down a problem into actionable steps based on how best to reach a standard or ideal, this question serves as an entry point back into curiosity, self-awareness, and nervous system regulation, from right where the collapse happened. It inherently prompts one to look at what could support their real-time experience of struggle, to wonder about what could bring them back online.
Often, the most accessible answer to WWMISE? is a 1% shift. Maybe the answer to WWMISE? is “if I can do it in my comfiest clothes,” or “if I can have a snack before,” or “if I don’t have to do it alone,” or “if I don’t have to officially start,” truly just to name a few. And if the same struggle keeps warranting the same answer to WWMISE?, then a larger scale system is needed to process and make room for that particular need in someone’s life (which points to my no-context hot-take: everyone needs a “What-Do-I-Need-Machine” to help them human; mine is a pinball machine).
WWMISE? is especially effective for individuals who struggle with:
Frustration shutdown (FSD)
Paralysis that sounds like, “I don’t know”
Neurodivergent executive overwhelm
Chronic dopamine depletion
Trauma-driven dissociation from needs
WWMISE? does not assume that safety is immediately available, nor does it demand forward motion. Instead, it creates space for exploring what re-engagement could look like—without pressure or expectation. By locating where safety might begin rather than prescribing a solution, WWMISE? naturally shifts the nervous system from shut down to possibility.
Acknowledgment is the Keyframe
WWMISE? is part of a broader framework suggesting that the skill of acknowledgement is the energetic keyframe for all self-attuned practices. Acknowledgement of our experience, especially struggle, is the first spark that energizes self care. Unfortunately, some folks encounter both socialized and internalized barriers when engaging self-attuned practices, making most of their efforts towards self-care fizzle out in frustration from the very beginning. Not surprisingly, neurodivergent and trauma-impacted folks in particular lack social permission to acknowledge their experience without being deemed “too sensitive,” “too much,” or “making excuses.” But before any self-supportive action can take place, the nervous system needs a cue that what’s happening is real, valid, and worth noticing; acknowledgement acts as a prompt for tending.
Coming up…
This broader body of work will explore Frustration Sensitive Dysphoria (FSD) from both clinical and lived-experience perspectives. I will explore WWMISE? as an invitation to acknowledgement that powers self-accommodation, as well as make a case for engaging “safe enough” 1% shifts that create chemical, logistical, sustainable, and accessible movement towards one’s goals and values. I also plan to use visual imagery to expand the analogy for how to build a“What-Do-I-Need-Machine” that demonstrates how WWMISE? and 1% shifts can generate a system of self-attunement over time.
TL;DR More details on WWMISE?, acknowledgment as a keyframe to attunement, a clinical case for Frustration Sensitive Dysphoria (FSD) and its relationship to dopamine and the nervous system, an exploration of tools for 1% shifts, and the “What-Do-I-Need-Machine” analogy will be forthcoming in future writings.
For inquiries, collaboration, or professional discussion, I can be reached at ashley@keyframetherapy.com.